Ego syntonic and ego dystonic

Something is said to be ego dystonic when the person perceives it to be foreign to them, outside them or not belonging to them. Something is ego syntonic when the person sees it to be part of them, belonging to them or forms part of who they are

These are two important concepts in psychotherapy. Is the problem ego syntonic or ego dystonic for the client?

A client may present with agoraphobia or perhaps insomnia. The therapist needs to ascertain in his own mind does the client see self as

1. A person who can experience agoraphobia, (ego dystonic)

2. An agoraphobic (ego syntonic)

Does the client experience self as  

1. A person who can suffer insomnia, (ego dystonic)

2. An insomniac (ego syntonic)

Unfortunately in most circumstances by the time the client gets to therapy the problem has become ego syntonic.

Ego dystonic I believe

A person sleeps normally and then for some reasons starts to sleep poorly. Initially this will feel abnormal to the person and the problem is seen as ego dystonic. They perceive self as someone who sometimes does not sleep well but not as an insomniac.

Over time if the insomnia continues the person’s view of it changes. It becomes something that they expect to happen because it has happened many times before. They tend to start to view it as part of who they are - an insomniac. When this change occurs the problem then becomes ego syntonic. The insomnia is perceived by the person as part of who they are and how they live.




The shift from ego dystonic to ego syntonic can be seen to have at least three aspects.

1. It becomes habitual

If a person has slept poorly most nights for the past year then the insomnia is partly a habitual way of being for the person regardless of any other causes for it.

2. It becomes part of the persons life style

As it becomes a habitual pattern of being the person will adjust the practicalities of their life style to fit for it. They will tend to do the same things like get up and do such and such and then go back to bed and then wake up again. They develop a routine at night time that incorporates the wake times.

3. It becomes part of the person’s self perception or part of their identity.

Finally it becomes how the person sees self and a sense of who they are as a person. I am an insomniac is part of the person’s sense of identity.

If a person has slept poorly three nights in the last four months then it wont be habitual, they have no routine when being awake and it is not part of who they see they are.


Eunuch



How long does it take a problem to shift from being ego dystonic to ego syntonic?

In trauma debriefing research indicates that therapy should start within 6 weeks of the trauma. The earlier you start the better. After 6 weeks it is harder to treat the problem (PTSD) as it has become ego syntonic.

Research on the formation of new habits indicates that it takes 66 days for a new habit to fully form. After that the person will behave habitually in the new way. Of course this varies on how often the new behaviour occurs and if there are any relapses along the way.

This suggests that it will take about 1.5 to 2 months for a problem to move from being ego dystonic to ego syntonic if the new problem occurs regularly.

If it is ego syntonic then not only does one have to treat the insomnia, but also the habit of not sleeping and the routine involved, along with the self perception of the client as an insomniac.

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Insomnia

One could diagram the state of sleep as such:



The Parent and Adult ego states are decommissioned and one is left with the Free Child alone. That is why sometimes dreams are referred to as the windows to the soul. It is truly a way to see into the unconscious and the primal needs of the person.

With the two ego states decommissioned the FC is allowed to roam free and create what ever it wants which is what it does with dreams. It provides such a rich source of psychological material but many disagree on what it means and what is the best way to use it with clients. There are many, many different varieties of dream work.


To have good sleep the adult woman has to somehow psychologically get like the girl.



However getting into the state of sleep that is diagrammed above involves an interesting psychological process and this is why some have difficulty with insomnia. The way people talk about sleep states it fairly well. People are said to FALL asleep. People do not run into sleep or jump into sleep but they fall asleep.

People have to kind of surrender into sleep. It is a letting go process. To decommission the Parent and Adult and access pure FC involves the person giving into or surrendering to sleep, like letting self fall. Some have a lot of trouble doing this because it means they have to let go and trust. Letting go of the conscious and surrendering to the unconscious if frightening for some and hence they experience insomnia.

The same applies for the experience of love. People do not run into love or drive their car into love instead they FALL in love. To understand and experience this people have to do the same kind of surrender or submission that is required for the sleep state. Those who say they do not know what love is, can be because they are too frightened to do this letting go and falling process. Hence they can never experience the Free Child as it is shown in the diagram above and hence never have a true experiential understanding of love.



Finally sex also requires a similar psychological state, especially for the male. Some men who have difficulty obtaining or maintaining an erection, can be because they have difficulty with the same letting go process. If they cannot decommission the Adult and Parent ego states adequately enough that can lead to sexual difficulties as described.

The diagram shows a very child like state. When each of us are born we are psychologically like this. So in one way it is such a natural state to be in. However to release our control and indeed our very way of understanding and viewing the world is difficult for some. Also it seems safe to say that when people fall they quickly and instinctually reach out and try and grab onto something. To fall asleep one has to trust the fall process such that they do not instinctually grab onto their Parent or Adult ego state.

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