Suicidality and normal adjustment - Part 1

With the concept of passive suicidality one logically comes to define a different group of suicidal individuals. Most often suicidal people are seen to be despairing and desperate people who are enduring a great deal of suffering and pain. This group does exist and much has been said about them by a great many people.

Here is part of a model of human activity and level of risk. As one can see grand prix racing is one of the most highly dangerous activities one can engage in.

Those people who are such racing car drivers engage in this very high risk activity voluntarily, repetitively and over long periods of time. What does this say about those individuals? This must make some kind of statement about their psyche? 

If someone engages in a piece of behaviour because they are pressured by others, or for a short period of time and then stops, or does it only occasionally then that says little about who they are and their psychology. But if someone does a piece of behaviour voluntarily, repeatedly and over an extended period of time then that says a lot about who they are and their internal psychological motivations. Humans will not do such ongoing repetitive behaviour unless it contributes to who they are and their life script. They simply wont do it for any length of time.

Such racing car drivers are knowingly and repeatedly putting them selves in a position where they know it may kill them. They are repeatedly placing self in a position where the risk of death is significantly increased. This speaks loudly about who they are and their internal psychological motivations and one could argue that this is suicidal behaviour. These people could be seen to be behaving in a suicidal way.

At the same time many of these people one could assume are reasonably well adjusted and certainly not like the usual suicidal person described above who is despairing and in a great deal of pain. Thus we are led to a position where one needs to reformulate the understanding of the suicidal person and indeed the concept of suicidality. 

There is a group, indeed a significant sized group of people who engage in such suicidal behavior who are well adjusted and not suffering any significant depression, pain or angst. Suicidal behaviour is not solely restricted to the neurotic and maladjusted. It also resides in quite a sizable group of people who would generally be seen as psychologically well adjusted. Suicidality and normal psychological adjustment can exist in one individual at one time. 

Two high profile Australian examples are Peter Brock and Steve Irwin. These two men died whilst engaging in high risk pursuits which they had been doing for many years. Indeed the high risk behaviour had become their occupations. Peter Brock died  in a car accident whilst racing and Steve Irwin was making a film whilst swimming with sting rays. He died when he got to close to a sting ray and it shot its venomous 8 inch barb into him.

In this sense we have identified a new clinical group with quite different features from what is usually seen as the clinical status of the suicidal person. It is unusual because suicidality is generally considered quite an abnormal psychological state or it is seen to involve a significant level of maladjustment. However we have now identified a group who overall are generally well adjusted but still behave in an active suicidal way.

This amounts to an odd psychological situation. It is rare to find a person who is generally well adjusted but also has a specific piece of significant psychological abnormality. For instance most people whilst being suicidal also may have a mental illness, be a substance abuser, be depressed, have been in prison, be socially isolated and so forth. This is the usual clinical situation of the suicidal person.

We have now identified another group who do not fit this usual psychological profile. They repeatedly display suicidal behaviour but otherwise do not display any psychological abnormality.

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Natural trauma debriefing

Dena on facebook says

“Sounds like interesting work Tony, do you have a particular way of working with individuals returning from combat?’ (end quote)

I have always been somewhat bemused by the debate about how to treat trauma. I find it quite easy to work with and I think I have been reasonably successful in doing so. My view is that trauma debriefing is a natural human process anyway which makes the counselling process easier and more likely to succeed. 

Humans when they have been traumatized in some way will most often spontaneously engage in the reparative process of trauma debriefing. Hence the goal of the therapist is basically to make sure the natural process proceeds as it should. They are kind of just helping the natural process along and are a bit of a bystander in this way, unlike other counselling situations.

Once the shock has subsided and any serious physical damage is made reasonably stable then the person as I said will spontaneously engage in remediating their damaged psyche. The steps basically are.

1. The person enters into the relational. That is they do not isolate self and seek out others to engage in about talking about the traumatic episode. Here the therapist is looking out for things like a Be strong, Don’t trust or Don’t be a child script messages. People with these may falter at this first stage by tending to isolate self and not seek others out to talk about the incident.

2. They talk about what happened and this can be as basic as describing what physically happened in the event. What were their reactions to what happened and so on.

3. Cathartic release. Whilst doing number 2 most people will begin experiencing feelings and then one wants some kind of cathartic release of emotions. Some can falter at this stage because they have a Don’t feel message of some kind.

4. The get a sympathetic response of some kind by the other person they are talking to.

And that is about that. To me it all seems rather simple and uncomplicated. The person will do the same process a number of times over weeks or months and after that the debriefing is usually complete.

As I said before I think this is a natural human process. Watch people after a car accident. Most will automatically seek others out, want to talk about the event, show some emotions and want to get reassuring hugs which covers the four points I mentioned above.

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Life script story

The life script of Toby Tyler (or part thereof)

Eric Berne highlighted the idea that children will take on stories as templates for parts of their own life script.

Toby Tyler was a movie that I first saw at a drive-in theatre! I would have been almost exactly the same age as Toby Tyler was in the movie. I have never forgotten this movie and it was one of my most favorite movies of all time. And to make matters more interesting. All through my childhood and also when I was this age I had one very good friend. We were best friends for many years and his name was also Toby.

Here is a picture of Toby Tyler with Mr Stubbs and a picture of me with my pet cat.

The synopsis that Wiki gave for the movie

Overhearing stern Uncle Daniel describe him as a "millstone", Toby Tyler runs away from his foster home to join the circus, where he soon befriends Mr. Stubbs, the frisky chimpanzee. However, the circus isn't all fun and games when the evil candy vendor, Harry Tupper, convinces Toby that his Aunt Olive and Uncle Daniel don't love him or want him back. Toby resigns himself to circus life even scoring a much bigger role at the circus. When Toby realizes (with the help of Mr. Stubbs) that Tupper lied to him, and that his aunt and uncle truly love him, Toby leaves the circus to go home. On the way, however, he finds that Mr. Stubbs has followed him. Deciding to take Mr. Stubbs home with him (to keep him safe,) Mr. Stubbs is chased by a hunter's dog. A hunter named Jim Weaver accidentally shoots Mr. Stubbs as Harry hauls Toby back to the circus.

Toby discovers his aunt and uncle are at the circus, with hugs all around. When Harry tries to pursue Toby, he is caught by Ben for using the Sheriff's money. Ben tells Harry to leave Toby alone and stop acting unkind. Just before Toby's big performance for his family, he discovers Mr. Stubbs is still alive, having been brought back to the circus by the hunter. Toby performs on horseback, only to have Mr. Stubbs join him, creating a great new act for the circus.

He travels around giving performances for the public. 

But it is his relationships that are of most importance. He runs away from home and ends up having an exciting life but essentially is living alone at least emotionally. His best friend is a monkey! At one point he thinks his best friend (Mr Stubbs) dies but then discovers he is still alive.

He has a loving family in the background but will he ever get to it or will he always remain a traveler who never settles with a loving partner to enjoy the more common type of intimacy? Will he ever be with his best friend or has he lost his friend for ever? A battle between the want for intimacy and the want to move away from it.

That is the life script quest for Toby Tyler.

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Early decisions and a child's thinking

In Transactional Analysis the A1 or Little Professor ego state is of considerable importance as it is a core component to the formation of our personality and script beliefs. In CBT terms this is how we get our thinking errors. It is the A1 that makes the early life script decisions that determine how we live the rest of our lives. 

Unfortunately these decisions are usually made in the first 6 years of life and as will become apparent that means they are made with little or no A2 or fully formed thinking ability. They are made by the A1 in what are known as the stages of sensori motor egocentrism and pre-operational egocentrism.

This is some what disconcerting if not frightening because as will be demonstrated that thinking is quite illogical and distorted meaning the young child can make quite illogical and distorted decisions that are not reality based at all.

However this does explain how a child can make the suicide decision early in life which some people consider a bizarre thing to do. 

There are in fact seven suicide decisions a child can make:

If you don’t change I will kill myself

If things get too bad I will kill myself

I will show you even if it kills me

I will get you to kill me

I will kill myself by accident

I will almost die (over and over) to get you to love me

I will kill myself to hurt you

 In my book - Working with suicidal individuals - I state the following:

In the histories of suicidal individuals one finds parents can say many things which imply the suicidal message. For instance parents can say to the child:

“He’s our little accident”

“If it wasn’t for you I wouldn’t have had to marry your mother”

“We only stayed together for the kids”

“When you were born you tore your mother apart”

“You’re always hanging around me Jenny, why don’t you go and play on the freeway, Ha, ha, ha.”

Of course these only imply a possible suicide decision and as always it is up to the illogical thinking of the young child to conclude what it thinks about its own life. However if these kinds of things are said repetitively then it makes it more likely a child will made the suicide decision but is by no means a certainty.

What follows is an explanation of A1 thinking in order to demonstrate how a child can make what is a seemingly bizarre decision about how it should live or not. (Some of this is adapted from:  Helman & Austin TAJ 1977.)

Egocentrism

Piaget noted this as a major cognitive limitation in a child’s thinking as it develops.

Egocentrism is the inability to differentiate one’s cognitive perspective from that of others. The child mistakenly believes that its thoughts and beliefs are also held by others around it.

Cognitive development proceeds from an egocentric perspective to a more objective perspective.  Objective thinking remains in the domain of the Adult (A2) ego state. In this type of thinking the person understands and acknowledges perspectives other than her own and they can be taken into account in any decision making process.

A mother who is arguing with her husband and then finds her daughter not in bed yet may hit the child angrily. A child who is only capable of A1 (Little Professor ego state) thinking cannot take into account other objective causal facts for the anger. The child may think. “There must be something wrong with me to make her so angry that she hits me.”

An older person with A2 thinking is able to understand there may be other causes of mother’s anger, such as just having had an argument with her husband. Thus it is less likely to make false conclusions about itself and mother.

Sensori motor egocentrism  (Birth to 2 years)

A1 thinking is beginning and the child cannot differentiate between her own physical and cognitive being, and that of others. The child does not comprehend there is a separate physical boundary between mother and itself and of course all its rudimentary thoughts are perceived as belonging to mother and self as they are perceived as one entity.

Pre-operational egocentrism  (2 to 7 years)

A1 thinking continues to predominate but the child is now aware there is a physical boundary between itself and mother. However cognitively she 

1. Does not understand that others have cognitive perspectives besides her, or

2. Does understand this but is incapable of taking them into consideration at the time of her decision making.

Two girls (Jenny and Jody) are running along, Jody trips and cuts her face badly. Jenny who a few hours earlier had been angry at Jody thinks either:

1. Her anger caused the accident. “People will get hurt if I am angry at them.” Jenny is incapable of seeing Jody as being separate from her.

2. Jenny is capable of seeing herself as separate from Jody thus knowing she did not physically cause the accident. However she did feel angry at Jody and still has the belief that the anger caused the accident.

Also in this stage the child has the view that everyone thinks like she does and the whole world shares her feelings and desires. This sense of oneness with the world leads her to assume that she is magically omnipotent - “The world is created for me and I can control it magically”.

Finally in the stage of pre-operational egocentrism we have pre-causal reasoning which to many mature adults appears disconcertingly illogical

Phenomenism

The child makes causal connections between events that just happen to occur together when there is no causal relationship.

The child sees a red object floating and says that it floats because it is red.

“When I was angry, mummy looked sad, I can control (am responsible for) mummy’s feelings”.

Finalism

Things happen because they are supposed to. There is always a reason for things occurring as they do

“Bad dreams happen to punish me because I am bad.”

Artificialism

There are two parts to this. First the child believes grownups are omnipotent, so the child feels defined by what they say. A child spills milk and mother says, “You always do these bad things to me”. Child then believes, “I am bad so things would be better if I was not here”.

Second, the child identifies with these omnipotent beings and believes she is omnipotent as well. This can result in grandiose thinking. Watching and angry father the child may think, “You could kill (obliterate) me. I can kill (obliterate) you.”

Animism

Child believes world and nature are alive and have consciousness like it does.

“A stone is alive because it moves”.

“It gets dark at night so I can go to sleep.”

Concrete operational egocentrism  (7 to 11 years)

Child becomes able to coordinate other people’s perspectives using both A1 & A2 processing. As she interacts with more people she learns there are others who have different perspectives and she becomes more able to coordinate these differing perspectives. This also results in a giving up on beliefs like father christmas and the tooth fairy due to peer input and increasing A2 abilities.

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Eros and thanatos

INTRODUCTION
Any student of the psychotherapies would have heard the terms:
Eros and thanatos
Libido and mortido
Life instinct and the death instinct
If not, then they should have! Freud seized on this concept and it became central in his overall theory of human nature. In his book “The ego and the id” he discussed this theory of instincts at length.

Freud[1962] in his discussion of the two classes of instincts states that the first class is the sexual instincts or Eros. This is a "...self-preservative instinct,..."(P30). On the other hand there is the death instinct whose task it is to, "...lead organic life back into the inanimate state;..."(P30).
He is thus entering into the field of the philosophy of opposites. Human nature, life and the universe is unerringly a collection of opposites. The answer to the question, “Is it possible to have something that does not have an opposite?” begs unending cognition.

Hyams(1998) notes this in her article on dissociation. She says that the world is full of polarities - good/bad, inhaling/exhaling, high/low and so on. In addition there is yin/yang, protons/electrons, left/right, black/white, matter/anti-matter and so on endlessly. Does something exist that does not have an opposite? I am yet to think of one. As soon as one defines ‘x’, then ‘not x’ is also defined. However that is for the philosophers to conjugate over.



THEORY OF OPPOSITES
Freud’s theory of these two instincts is a theory of opposites. One problem with such theories is they can become static. One discusses what is a manifestation of Eros (the life instinct) and what is a manifestation of Thanatos (the death instinct).
Eros = love, procreation, win/win situations, peace and cooperation, god.
Thanatos = hate, murder, game playing, war, devil.
This provides us with a static taxonomy of this theory. It is possible to look at how they interact and Freud does this to a certain extent in ‘The ego and the id’. He talks about love and hate being able to change into one another and how eating is both simutaneously constructive (gives life to consumer) and destructive (destroys the consumed product).

It is this point, in my view, that gets lost and is never taken far enough by Freud. This theory of insticts gets caught up in a right/wrong or good/bad morality. His bipartite system has a moral basis which leads it into trouble. It follows on from the same moral view that has been held by many if not all religions throughout time.

Life, growth, creation is good vs death and destruction is bad. In religious terms we have good and evil and god and the devil. The church has for all time seen god as good and the devil as bad and we must behave and think in a way that allows to be with god and defeat the devil. The only true way to defeat the devil is to not define god. As soon as one defines god, one defines the devil at least in part - the devil = non-god. If you do not define god then the devil cannot exist. If it does not exist then it is ‘beaten’ in one sense.



MORAL BASIS OF PSYCHOTHERAPY
This god vs devil or eros vs thanatos are static models based on a moral principle as suggested before. Thus we have the very basis for the moral underpinnings of psychotherapy.
Thanatos vs Eros = games vs intimacy, aggression vs assertion, I’m not OK vs I’m OK, win/lose vs win/win, competition vs cooperation, script vs autonomy. Some now argue they do not hold to such a moral view, as Transactional Analysts they work with the client and hold no judgements as to what is right and wrong.

In my view - balderdash. How many books on TA describe how to increase game behaviour and decrease the capacity for intimacy. How many describe how to avoid intimacy and increase script bound thinking and feeling. Transactional analysis is based on (as are all psychotherapies) a set of moral judgements about what constitutes life & growth and what constitutes death and destruction. What constitutes health and what constitutes pathology is central to any psychotherapy.



EROS & THANATOS VIEWED DYNAMICALLY
Let us take the static model of Freud’s bipartite theory and look at it as a dynamic model. Once done we end up with a very different situation. This allows us to go beyond examining the two insticts and what they represent in thinking, feeling and behaving. Instead it leads us to 3 new questions:

1. Are Eros and Thanatos interacting or not?
2 When they do not interact what happens?
3 When they do intereact what happens?
These three questions lead us to yet another set of opposites - change vs inertia.

What would happen if all the poeple on earth suddenly came to their senses and were able to tap totally into their eros energy and avoid all their thanatos energy? Governments would stop spending trillons of dollars on building bombs and weaponery and put all that money into psychotherapy and medical science. With all the advances taking place eventually people would than be able to live good quality lives until, they were 150 years old. What would the planet be like then. Firstly, governments of the world would rapidly bring out one child policies and these would even more rapidly become ‘no child policies’ or ‘very few child policies’. We end up in a state of inertia - little change. If we could all tap into the good growth, creative energy of the universe we end up static, in a state of inertia. When the eros instinct over rides its opposite for too long this is where we end up. If the thanatos instinct over rides then we end up in a similar state. Everything is destroyed, nothing is created and we end up inert again.

As transactional analysts this means we must be aware that it is essential that we remain playing games at some level and remain script bound to some degree. If we became script free then we end up inert. Thus we have one answer to the question about what happens when eros and thanatos do not interact.

So what happens when they do interact. Consider this other example that occured in Australia recently. There were massive bush fires in the eastern states of Australia. We saw images of huge flames, dead animals and huge areas of burnt out forests, All the reports were of how much devastation had been caused, how much bush had been destroyed. Clearly thanatos had been at work and left massive destruction in its wake.

However this is incorrect. The bush had not been destroyed it had been changed. The pictures of huge blackened areas all left us with black, sorrowful feelings. These blackened areas should be a stimulus of great feelings of excitment, anticipation and joy, not of sorrow. Imagine the growth and creation of insects, rodents, vegetation that are now going to occur in these blackened areas. It will represent an expression of eros in its undiluted form, a thing which we all say is wonderful. If there had never been the thanatos of the fire then this eros could not have occured.



DEATH PHOBIA
We humans are a death phobic species. We will do almost anything to avoid the pain that acts based on the thanatos instinct can bring. We spend millions of dollars on fire fighters and fire fighting equipment to reduce the “destruction” (ie thanatos, ie change) to a minimum.

Consider human reaction to endangered species like the elephant or lion - the Kings of the wild. What do we do. We create breeding in captivity programs in zoos. We create reserves for them to live in. These are called wild life parks. A nice term to alleviate our guilt. Lets be realistic wild life parks are the same as breeding in captivity. These wildlife parks and zoos are simply museums. They allow us and our children to see species as how they once were. A useful endeavour. But lets not pretend they are existing as they used to. Such parks and zoos allow us to observe the history of such species, not the now.

So why do not we just let all the elephants and lions die out. Let that symbol of evil and thanatos - the poacher - do his work and kill off all the remaining ones. Why do we not get it over and done with instead of stringing out the pain and trying to pretend that these species still exist. Why do not we accept that lions are extinct, its just that we do have some in a museum that we can go and look at from time to time?.

I do not have an answer. Perhaps it is a sign of some form of collective human guilt. Perhaps it is because we have accepted a static model of eros and thanatos or god and the devil. If we look at the same model dynamically then we see that with the extinction of the lion that opens up change and some form of species will be allowed to grow, develop or even be created that could never have happened with the presence of the lions. The poachers work allows eros (god) and thanatos (devil) to interact thus we do not remain in inertia but move into a change phase.



PSYCHOTHERAPY AND THE DYNAMIC MODEL
How does this translate into psychotherapy and transactional analysis. All psychotherapies have some sort of statement on what is health and what is not. The majority spend a great deal of time defining such things. For instance in TA we have script and autonomy. Large amounts of time and energy have been spent on defining and diagnosing what are script thoughts, feelings and behaviours and what are not. Then just as much time is spent on how to treat or facilitate change of such thoughts and feelings.

How would people react to suggestions that:
“A divorce is to be as celebrated as much as a marriage”
“Game playing is essential to normal human growth and development”
“The srcipt free individual will wither and die over time”

This is what the dynamic model of eros and thanatos or the life and death instincts proposes. Up to date psychotherapies have been taken from the church or the (moral) static dichotomy of good and bad and the god and the devil.



CONCLUSION
It seems erronous to view humans as having the two drives of eros and thanatos. Instead we have:

interaction/unbalance/change or stagnation/balance/homeostasis.

It is more reasoned to view these two drives as either interacting or not. If they are not dynamically involved then we have stagnation and non-life. If they are interacting then we have life.

REFERENCES
Freud, S. (1962). The ego and the id. New York: W.W. Norton.
Hyams, H. (1998) Dissociation: Definition, Diagnosis, Manifestations, and Therapy, with Special Reference to Cults/Sects. Transactional Analysis Journal. 28(3), 234 - 243.

Melamary life script currency analysis

Results

uniqueness
one and only +
feelings ++
power +++
reverse status
sex ++
beauty
pied paper
booze ++
food +
violence
money ++
words +
drugs +

Analysis

Games - Rapo, cops and robbers, psychiatry
Stage - anal
Lifestyle/occupation - politics, examiners, critics, the “boss”. police, doctors, psychologists
Therapist - Supervisor / supervisee disputes, industrial mediation
Personality - paranoid, anti social
Issues - Control, penis envy, dependency



Power is an interesting script currency and not an uncommon one. It is unfortunate in that the person tends to waste so much energy as they get caught in fights or disputes they do not need to and so much energy gets ‘wasted’ in this way. The person with the power script currency needs to ask self, “Do I need to be involved in this dispute”.

The young child has fight (compared to flight or freeze) as its primary response to parental control. Feeding, toileting and adolescence are especially crucial stages in this child’s development where parents need to be extra careful not to set up an adversarial relationship with the child in a battle for power and control. However it is not just these stages and it is all through the formative years that parents need to be careful with the ‘fight’ child.



Power is a double edged sword in relationships. If one feels they have the power position in the relationship that can lead to a sense of safety because one is in control of what happens. However it is also tiring as one IS always in control and thus can never be ‘looked after’ by the other. In therapy the client is invited to take the dependent role in the relationship with the therapist. They may find this very difficult to do but if achieved they may feel a great sense of relief at not having to be the one expending all the energy being in charge.

The therapist needs to make sure that the therapeutic relationship does not become just yet another battle field for a fight over control, for the client. This does happen as therapists are the ones in the power position in the therapeutic relationship and thus those with a power script currency issues will be attracted to the profession.

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Annalynn life script currency analysis

Results

Uniqueness ++
One & Only +++
Feelings +
Power +
Reverse Status +
Sex
Beauty
Pied Piper
Booze +
Food +
Violence
Money
Words ++
Drugs

Analysis




You are quite unique Annalynn as this is quite an unusual set of results that you provide. The main thing I can say about it is that it could be reflective of disordered attachment. I know you a little bit but not a lot so I will have to speak more generally.

Research shows that children who grow up in a monomatric family will tend to have singular attachments in adulthood. This could be seen to represent the script currency of one and only and uniqueness. Especially the quality of the exclusion of others. Children who grow up in more polymatric families will have a more diverse set of attachments in adulthood.

In terms of psychological games this could result in what are called exclusion games. These are played the best of all by teenage girls. Those who establish peer groups and then keep some others out of them. This is not saying that you do such things just that you would be hypersensitive to such behaviour.

Because of the singular attachment there could develop problems with loyalty, betrayal and so forth, including exclusion games as mentioned before.



Of course there is nothing wrong or unhealthy about having singular attachments. From a psychological point of view if the needs for human contact are met in one or two attachments then there is no problem. Others usually have more attachments to meet those needs but as long as the needs are being meet then there is not a psychological problem.

The main danger is you put all your eggs in one basket. If the primary attachment figure dies or moves away then you may be left bereft of other attachments.

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Kahless script currency analysis

Results

One and only ++
Reverse status ++
Drugs ++
Booze ++

Analysis


Booze and drugs

Games: alcoholic, cops & robbers
Psychosexual stage: Oral
Lifestyle/occupation: Gourmet, wine taster, narc, temperance league, junkie
Illnesses: Gastrointestinal, oral problems
Therapist: Addiction counselling
Personality: Antisocial, schizoid, narcissistic
Issues: Can be more severe in terms of life threatening, despair rather than depression




Tends to result from pre-verbal quite early problems with the primary attachment figure. Primary attachment figures may be emotionally absent in some way.

May have a tendency to move to a position of non life if not obviously self destructive. Stroke deprivation can result when the individual enters periods of incapacitation (non life) which may last many months.

Possibility of openly self destructive behaviour with the use of alcohol and drugs but also by other means as well. Possible suicidal urges.


The sophistication of smoking Peter Styvestant thins.


Quite amenable to psychotherapy but needs to find a good attachment figure in a therapist. If achieved then considerable psychological gains can result but it takes time.

Needs to structure life such that social isolation does not result even though there maybe a constant pull to that position.

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Linda life script currency analysis

Results

Uniqueness +++
One and Only na
Tears and Feelings na
Sex + 
Violence n/a 
Pied Piper n/a
Drugs n/a
Booze n/a
Food +
Power na
Reverse Status ++
Words +++
Money ++
Beauty ++


Analysis

Words
Games: Psychiatry, Greenhouse
Psychosexual stage: Anal or possible oral
Lifestyle/occupation: Lawyer, politician, writer, journalist, orator, salesman, psychotherapist, debater
Illnesses: Elective mutism, migraines, neck/shoulder pain,
Therapist: Intellectual therapies are attractive
Personality: Obsessive compulsive, paranoid




Issues:
These people are sometimes said to be “Dead from the neck down”. They retreat to the safety of thinking and thus there can be a mind body split. Out of touch with their body and thus one can have eating disorders or various forms of self harming. Out of touch with what their body is saying and thus detached from part of the Free Child.

Retreat to intellectualisation so as to hide from feelings (at least some of the painful ones).



Need to access the Free Child in therapy. The Free Child has gone into hiding for some very good reason and accessing it will bring up those reasons which may be quite distressing.

Body therapies might be an idea to deal with the mind body split. Physical contact needed as there may also be a history of prolonged stroke deprivation.

If it is a reflection of oral stage issues there could be obvious suicidal or self destructive impulses or more subliminal self destuctive impulses displayed through such things as alcohol abuse, chronic cigarette smoking or severe eating problems.

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Crocus life script currency analysis

Results

Uniqueness ++
One & Only +
Feelings +
Power +++
Reverse Status
Sex +
Beauty +
Pied Piper
Booze ++
Food ++
Violence
Money ++
Words +
Drugs ++

Analysis

Power
Games: Cops & robbers, rapo
Psychosexual stage: Anal
Lifestyle/occupation: Politics, examiners, critics, the ‘boss’, police, doctors, psychotherapists
Therapist: Supervisor-supervisee disputes, industrial mediation
Personality: Paranoid, Antisocial
Issues: Control, penis envy, dependency.



Rapo is a power based game



The life script is lived out via power in relationships with others. This is what will become the issue in relationships and the means by which psychological games in relationships are played out.

In the winner’s life script the power is used for the benefit of self and others. In the loser life script, power will leave the individual with dysfunctional relationships and in an unhealthy state of mind.



The Adapted Child ego state will seek the power position in relationships and the Free Child will crave dependency in relationships. Therapeutic goal is to get to the dependency and have the client satisfy the craving for the powerless position in relationships.

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Final fantasy 6

Up to this juncture I have maintained the following psychological functions fantasy can provide

Fantasy as a defence mechanism
Fantasy in the schizoid personality structure
Fantasy to alter mood - self soothing
Fantasy as a source of strokes - positive and negative
Fantasy and life script reinforcement

It would seem that there are others

Fantasy in the narcissistic personality structure
I have mentioned this before that one feature of the DSM-IV criteria of the narcissistic personality is:

“Preoccupation with fantasises of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.”

Thus it can be stated that fantasy is used by some narcissistic people to maintain that personality structure.



Fantasy as a reflection of current events in a persons life
As with sleep dreams, day dreams can occur as a reaction to events in a person’s life. If one is entering a new relationship they may have fantasies about how it will go or things the two people may do together and so forth. If the person gets a new job they may fantasise various scenarios about what might happen. This also happens in sleep dreams sometimes. When it does this reflects the psychological importance the current event has to the person.

Fantasy as wish fulfilment
This also occurs in sleep dreams. The daydream may be about what the person wishes. A relationship, money, success, sporting ability, their team winning the grand final, finding a lost child, to be the dependent one in a relationship and so forth.

Thus we have some of the ways fantasy can be used by the fantisizer. There may be others that come to light subsequently but at the moment we have this:

Fantasy as a defence mechanism
Fantasy in the schizoid personality structure
Fantasy to alter mood - self soothing
Fantasy as a source of strokes - positive and negative
Fantasy and life script reinforcement
Fantasy in the narcissistic personality structure
Fantasy as a reflection of current events in a persons life
Fantasy as wish fulfilment



There is one other point that must be made. This does not relate to the function of fantasy but how fantasy can be used in therapy. This I mentioned in final fantasy 5. If one maintains that daydreams are expressions of the unconscious or they arise from the unconscious, one can use them therapeutically the same way one would use dream analysis with sleep dreams. It is a way of understanding the unconscious of the individual.

For example Kahless stated:

“I used to day-dream being a secret agent, or a fireman, or Lara Croft”(end quote).

A therapist may ask of her,
What are the qualities of Lara Croft that are important in the fantasy?
What does Lara Croft do in the fantasy?
What is her relationship to others in the fantasy?

Of course the answer to each of these questions if simply a reflection of the psyche of Kahless. As with sleep dream work they each are part of her in some way. The therapist seeks to find out what those are and then finds a way to use them therapeutically. For instance it may become apparent that Kahless is not owning the Lara Croft in her. Some of the qualities she sees in Lara Croft she has in her own personality but is in denial about them at the moment. One could then use two chair to facilitate her accepting that part of her personality. As I also said in final fantasy 5 it is the theme that the therapist is looking for. The character of Lara Croft is not important. It is what that character means to Kahless that is important. The theme of the character and the theme of what the character does.

Of particular note with this is sexual fantasies. Whilst fantasy of heroic deeds or of great wealth can be used to understand the psyche, sexual fantasises have the extra feature of involving very close, intense and intimate relating. They involve at least two people interacting in a very close and intimate way. Fantasy about winning the grand final or being dux of the school does not have the same feature. Thus sexual fantasises assume extra importance in this way.

In using sexual fantasises in this way one firstly takes the sex out of the equation.
Forget about the sex and how are these two people relating?
If they were relating with the same theme in a non sexual way, what would they be doing?

Thus the unconscious wants, fears and needs involving intimate relationships becomes more defined. What the person’s unconscious feels about self and others and their relating becomes clearer.

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What’s in a name? - Part 2

In the Transactional Analysis world over the years there has been sort of a tradition or cultural norm to change one’s name. Many have changed their name - christian name and/or surname, some have done it a number of times. I never have but at times it has been a bit of the thing to do.

However there is a theoretical basis for this tradition evolving. Eric Berne in his book, “What do you say after you say hello” talks about names and the role they can play in determining a persons life script. In therapy groups sometimes you get people who want to do some work on their name.

Over the years in many workshops and therapy groups I have begun with the round question for each participant - What is the story behind your name? Who named you and why? What does your name mean to you, your mother, and so on? Nicknames also can be very important, how they got them and what they mean to the person.

One never ceases to be amazed at some of the answers you get. Some people have whole elaborate stories or information that they know about their name and how they became named what they did. Some people come to realise that they know all this stuff about their name that they did not know they knew.

A man may report that he was named after uncle Harry and then describes how uncle Harry was a drunkard and a womaniser. As a 6 year old boy learns this what sort of impact is that going to have on his script. Or a woman reports that she is named after grandma Merle who was a spinster who spent her life doing good work in sub Saharan Africa. What sense is a little 6 year old girl going to make of all that?

Then there is the whole area of sex role scripting when a father wanted a boy and got a girl so he gives her a name like Kim. That type of thing can often result in a sense that there is something wrong within the child. In one sense your name is your public signature and thus it is seen as having some importance in one’s sense of identity as Eric Berne described.

My name is actually, Anthony Gilbert Browning White. Gilbert comes from my grandfather on my mother’s side - Gilbert Troup. What I have been told about him is that he was a very learned doctor and anaesthetist in this state for many years. My mother had a special attachment to her father and in one way revered him. When he died they created an award named after him that is given each year to the most successful student of anaesthesiology at a medical school here. On a side note about 5 years ago at a dinner function I attended, I discovered that the woman sitting opposite me had actually won it. Bit of an odd situation really.

I have spent my work life in the helping professions. Is this my life script from my naming?

However it is not all cheese and biscuits I may add. Whilst she revered him and felt a special connection to him I have learned over the years from her that he had a tendency to neglect his domestic duties. Whilst he was much loved by his patients he at times would tend to them before he tended to his own family. This as one can imagine resulted in some disquiet amongst family members including my mother who named me after him. Has this had an impact on my life script? Such are the vagaries of child development.

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Life script analysis 4

For a larger version of this go to here. And click on "All sizes"

Story of drawing.

Mother is busy in the kitchen. The baby is waiting to be taken care of. It is crying, crying and crying. The baby is noisy and needy but it does not get picked up.

It’s not mother’s fault because she is simply busy. It’s the baby’s fault.

Father is working and mother is overloaded. She is just young and has duties that she never had to deal with before. The baby is just one extra duty on a long list. The baby is not 1 year old yet. It is not an emotional priority.

Why should this baby come first. Mother was overloaded and creates a sense of guilt in the child.

It thought, “I don’t deserve to get my needs met”. “I make mother’s life harder, it would be better if I was not here”.

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Comment on story

In terms of the fight, flight or freeze response to stress there is clearly no fight response in this case. It shows how the suicide decision can result in such circumstances as it did here. The baby does not view mother as treating it unfairly which would tend to be the fight response, “I am not being treated in the way that I should be, so its their fault” (anger).

Instead the response is to see mother as being over burdened with her domestic duties already and the baby is simply making mother’s life harder, thus it is the baby’s fault for it not being picked up. Thus it is not hard for the child to make the decision that things would be better for all concerned if it was not here. One could see this as the flight response and the feeling reaction is one of sadness and passive acceptance.

In being questioned on this scene the individual found it hard to say what her thoughts and feelings were. She stated that there were very few words and there was more feelings and noises instead. This gives the indication that the suicide decision in this case could be pre-verbal which also fits with the child being less than one year old.

If this is the case then one knows that the decisions made in this scene, including the suicide decision are going to be very resilient because they were made at such a young age before the child even had language. This implies that this individual will to some extent be potentially suicidal all her life. These very early decisions form the foundations of the personality and thus they are hard to alter through counselling compared to decisions made at older ages. The impact of the decisions can be changed but to expect them to be completely altered would be quite unusual and unrealistic. Thus there will always be a suicide decision there to some extent.

Of course a person of less than one year old can not recall such events as described and drawn here. For the purposes at hand it does not matter if it actually happened or not. These drawings and descriptions are really just visual, cognitive and kinaesthetic representations in the person’s mind, of the structure of their personality. This event describes part of the personality for instance in cognitive behavioural therapy terms, the thinking errors the person has. It does not matter if the event even occurred as it is the visual, cognitive and kinaesthetic representation the person currently holds in their mind which allows them to have consistent personality structures. It is what the person uses to actually have a personality.

I have always been surprised at how easily people will produce these early distressing scenes as well as being convinced of their authenticity. There is never a sense of people making up a story or telling a tale and so forth. Instead they produce a drawing of what they believed happened to them and as has been seen at times they can be quite elaborate and detailed. In addition the feelings and early decisions which were made as a result of the event can also be quite easily articulated.

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