I now have a new Facebook page for my book - Working with suicidal individuals. I have made a few comments about the book on it and I thought I would put them here as well.
Its funny how things work out. What I thought was one of the more insightful things I have written about in the book no one has ever even mentioned. They have mentioned other parts but never that one. 25% of suicidal people never tell anyone of their suicidality prior to a serious attempt. I discuss how one can begin to identify and work with this highest risk of all suicidal people. Has never even got a comment! Not that I am complaining or anything.
The suicide pact is an interesting phenomena that occurs more commonly than most suspect. There is also the notion of the surreptitious suicide pact involving a suicidal individual and a collaborator. Living with a chronically suicidal person is a very difficult thing to do. After months or even years the collaborator is usually drained or very burnt out. The Free Child ego state of the collaborator wants it to end and knows the most realistic way it is likely to end is if the person completes a suicide attempt. The Free Child then, in part, has a want for the person to suicide and hence we have a suicide pact. The collaborator may realize this consciously or may keep it hidden from his conscious. Yet at some level the suicidal person and the collaborator communicate the secret agreement with each other.
In suicide risk assessment schedules the person is often asked if they are single or married. Research shows that single people are more likely to suicide than married people, however this is not really getting to the point of the matter. It is not so much about being married or single but about human attachment. People who have a sense of being in an attachment with another are more psychologically robust and healthy and thus less likely to suicide. If people have a sense of belonging with another and a sense of being in relationship with other they are in a better psychological state than those who do not. For the suicide risk assessor it makes less sense to ask if the person is single or married but to enquire about the attachments in their life, Do they have a sense of attachment, belonging or a sense of relationship currently in their life? They may or may not have this if they are single or married.