Therapy and emergence of the self

Been working with this woman over the past few months and I am doing almost completely relational work.  She is pleasant, well versed in therapy, quite capable of introspection and seems motivated. All the qualities are there for a good prognosis.

But it is one of those times where you know something is wrong but you don’t know what it is. You know something is not going right but you can’t articulate it. My Free Child is reacting to her and the therapeutic relationship with disquiet. We have discussed this “problem” I have but it still is not getting to the core of it. My feeling reaction is one of unease. Not in a bad way but in a way of, “I know there is something going on here but I don’t know what it is”.

The work we are doing would be consistent with what Winnicott called the holding environment. I am psychologically ‘holding her”. This of course fits with a relational approach where the focus is on the relationship we have. I have come across the term in relational theory called - the emergence of the self. This fits for what I am doing here. I am simply letting myself go in the relationship with the client not knowing what is going to emerge for me personally.

Winnicott's therapeutic approach of the holding environment does this, but only psychologically. I must say I have always been a bit surprised how people can regress as they do in the holding environment. Indeed some people can become highly regressed. The perfect opportunity for hypnotic suggestions. Getting the client out of the chair down on the floor to do floor work can result in a signficant and abrupt change in ego states especially when they have done it a few times before and are used to it.

I have always thought this a little odd as the therapy in one sense is more about me than about the client. The focus is on my FC and how it is reacting and emerging in relation to the client. Of course the positive for the client is that as I become aware of my personal emergence I report this to her which benefits her. In this instance I don’t feel I have a choice. The conventional approach of analyzing the client, is going OK, but my intuition tells me I am missing something.

What is going to happen? I don’t know. I will have to wait and see what emerges.

Graffiti