Friday, January 6, 2012

The “Are you still there?” session.

It’s kind of nice when you get one of these and I have had one over the last two weeks. A 30 year old woman who I had not seen for three years. Prior to that I had seen her quite intensively for about two years. The time had come for her to deal with some childhood trauma which resulted in quite dysfunctional relationships with men. I would not call it a sex addiction but she did have some quite promiscuous periods. She did very well, got her life back on track and established quite a good relationship with an OK guy.

Hug woman

Then she stops coming and I hear nothing for three years. A few weeks back I get a phone call and she comes and sees me twice. She comes in and we greet, I catch up on all the developments with family, boy friend, work, social life and so forth. She talks about things that are troubling her and I keep waiting for the ’thing’ to come out and it never does. Nothing serious is being presented which leaves me asking myself why is she here?

She is getting on quite well with her partner but I can tell from how she is talking it is getting to the point where she wants a marriage type thing or that may be that. They are not arguing or anything and have talked about this type of thing but it is not moving that way and she is getting to the point where something may have to happen.

Eye shadow

She is just checking out to see if I am still there, in case things turn bad and the relationships ends. Is he still there and is he still the same? - is what I think is behind this revisit. As a therapist it feels kind of nice when that happens.

Graffiti

10 comments:

  1. I hope one day when I finish therapy (if that day ever comes) that I will want to contact my therapist every once in a while and just let him know how I'm doing. A therapy relationship especially when it goes on for years can become a very important relationship in a patients life I can't imagine just dropping it and being able to move on so easily. I know my therapist cares about me and in some way I care about him too (my psychiatrist would say that was transference)

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  2. Hello just me, I think you make a good comment about the importance such a relationship can have for the client. Of course some are important for the therapist but that is less so and in a different kind of way really.

    My longest client ever (so far) was 11 years. That is unusal and he still contacts me once a year every christmas and I am delighted with that. He certainly has been part of my life. Graffiti

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  3. I always feel a bit compelled to check in here every now and then. Don't know why, but I just do.

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  4. Why Kahless?

    the answer could be what I have written here. Your unconscious Child within is just wanting to check to see if T is still there and still the same.

    Graffiti

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  5. It's kind of reassuring to me that you like this "check-in." I always feel like kind of a dork when I feel a need to see my therapist. (I've been in therapy on and off for five years.)

    I'm mostly done, whatever that is. But sometimes I think I do need to go back just to make sure he's still there. He's very much a father-figure in my heart, and hearing him say he's proud of me really helps me -- especially when my own dad has pretty much written me off. :-(

    Even though he's always said his door is open and he enjoys seeing me, I always wonder if he's thinking...oh damn. Will this client never leave????

    :-)

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  6. Hello Anon,
    I am glad that you feel reassured and yes it is as I said, well at least for me, a good kind of feeling when a client does a check in. Of course I have no idea what your therapist thinks or feels so I can only say what I think and feel.

    There are cleints I meet that I do not like for some reason. When this happens the length of therapy is usually quite short. I would not see a client for a year or more unless I liked them or at least felt some kind of connection and affinity with. In other words I like to see them. So if I had seen some one over a 5 year period then I would not feel dread if they did a check in, i would probably feel good.

    Again I dont know about your therapist but that is how I would feel.

    Tony

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  7. I just had a client come back after 8 years. A very hesitant message, is that still your number, are you still there. But she's not just touching base.

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  8. Hello RSM,
    I hope it works out well with your revisit client.

    Graffiti

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  9. I find this is very nice!!!

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  10. I am glad you like it Jelica

    Tony

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