There’s a person who works in my office who is germ-phobic. He won’t shake hands with anyone and he doesn’t directly touch door handles, pencils, the coffee pot, or anything without using a tissue or paper towel so he doesn’t make direct contact. People can use fantasy to make their lives better, it seems like this man is using fantasy to make his life more complicated – or is fantasizing about germs an entirely different thing?
I dont use day dreams to defend against anxiety, but I guess in the main I do daydream for self gratification. Actually when I had a rather stressful problem this last week(and I mean a problem where I was having to contact my family who I have not spoken with for years) I didnt day-dream, rather created a brick wall in my mind to pretend the situation didnt exist, except my partner made me face it.
I think I would tend to have schizoid characteristics. Incidentally my partner a number of times these last weeks has commented on how cold and distant I have been lately. We hasve put it down to my depression and / or the medication I am taking for my depression. Maybe I am somewhat robotic at the moment, but far better that than the deep depression I felt in February. I cant describe how bad that nothingness felt.
As I get older I am getting more in on myself. Though I find it someone ironic that you, a stranger, knows me better than most. And sometimes I don't know why I keep coming back here. Kind of like a drug in some ways. I mean that in a nice way.
k.
Ps Monday is a bank holiday in England! As was friday with the royal wedding.
Do people with contamination fears fantasize. Are contamination fears equivalent to fantasies?
It would not usually be stated as that but they do make up stories in their own mind about contaminations which are clearly not factually based. So one could ay they are fantasies.
I agree people can use fantasy to make self feel bad. I will get to that soon as this post is a work in progress and I will state the other forms that fantasy can take.
I have a pommy client and he occasiuonally uses the phrase, "Bank holiday". Each time he does I think of you! What is it about banks and holidays!
I am very glad the depression has lifted somewhat my friend. Yes it seems that you do not use fantasy as a defence mechanism but maybe it forms part of your schizoid personality structure.
I didn't realize you had not seen your family for such a long time. The other day I came across those family photographs you sent me some time ago. its funny how it can all look so good in family photos when it is not like that.
Come back any time K. It is always good to get your comments
Yes, I fantasize as much as possible. Yes, there are times, when I prefer most of the time during that spacific time period, to be alone. Yes, I will draw away from people just to fantasize a particular fantasy while it's fresh and interesting or exciting. A bit like movies i like or a book or books that I happen to be into. I'll say no to company just to get into a movie/book/fantasy that I'm 'into' at the time.
But there are many times also where I crave company/conversation/people about. There's not a lot of that here (in my life personally) so I seek it out and put that stuff into my life when I know I'm feeling the need or hunger. The 'party girl' is the personality that most people who knew me, in any way, thought was the 'me'. But I'm not really.
I'm shy, nervous mostly and if I'm ever loud and fun... that's when i'm either the most comfortable or the most afraid.
I have been thinking about my fantasy aka daydream times. I will drift mostly into daydream I think when I am bored. That is particularly when driving, or sat in a meeting at work that has lost my attention or when the tv is on. Rarely do I give something my full 100% attention, particularly TV - I blog mostly in front of the TV.
The only time when I deliberately force daydream is if I cannot sleep. Then I will daydream either how I spend a million pounds or piloting a space ship through the universe. That one used to work a lot when I was a kid where I would wear my pillow also as a space helmet.
If I am out shopping and am bored, sometimes I will play the game that someone is following me and I have to ascertain who it is. Or I play this if I am on a train and I have to try and guess who my 'tail' is.
The other way I use fantasy is to explore how I would feel about something. Sometimes I imagine a particular event happening, like a bereavement (which is quite a common one of late) and then I play out in my mind how I would behave and how I would act. I think through what I would say and how I would feel. So sometimes fantasy can be a training ground?
Kahless – the perfect round? I wish. I’ve found it’s bad luck to imagine playing too much better than I do in reality. Golf is a game of superstitions (seems like that’s typical of golfers I play with). When I imagine golf, the sun is always shining, the birds are singing, and it’s just me and the course. Pure heaven.
Hi Tony,
ReplyDeleteThere’s a person who works in my office who is germ-phobic. He won’t shake hands with anyone and he doesn’t directly touch door handles, pencils, the coffee pot, or anything without using a tissue or paper towel so he doesn’t make direct contact. People can use fantasy to make their lives better, it seems like this man is using fantasy to make his life more complicated – or is fantasizing about germs an entirely different thing?
I'd say pretty fair observations Graffiti.
ReplyDeleteI dont use day dreams to defend against anxiety, but I guess in the main I do daydream for self gratification. Actually when I had a rather stressful problem this last week(and I mean a problem where I was having to contact my family who I have not spoken with for years) I didnt day-dream, rather created a brick wall in my mind to pretend the situation didnt exist, except my partner made me face it.
I think I would tend to have schizoid characteristics. Incidentally my partner a number of times these last weeks has commented on how cold and distant I have been lately. We hasve put it down to my depression and / or the medication I am taking for my depression. Maybe I am somewhat robotic at the moment, but far better that than the deep depression I felt in February. I cant describe how bad that nothingness felt.
As I get older I am getting more in on myself. Though I find it someone ironic that you, a stranger, knows me better than most. And sometimes I don't know why I keep coming back here. Kind of like a drug in some ways. I mean that in a nice way.
k.
Ps Monday is a bank holiday in England! As was friday with the royal wedding.
That is a good question KYLady,
ReplyDeleteDo people with contamination fears fantasize. Are contamination fears equivalent to fantasies?
It would not usually be stated as that but they do make up stories in their own mind about contaminations which are clearly not factually based. So one could ay they are fantasies.
I agree people can use fantasy to make self feel bad. I will get to that soon as this post is a work in progress and I will state the other forms that fantasy can take.
Tony
Hello Kahless,
ReplyDeleteI have a pommy client and he occasiuonally uses the phrase, "Bank holiday". Each time he does I think of you! What is it about banks and holidays!
I am very glad the depression has lifted somewhat my friend. Yes it seems that you do not use fantasy as a defence mechanism but maybe it forms part of your schizoid personality structure.
I didn't realize you had not seen your family for such a long time. The other day I came across those family photographs you sent me some time ago. its funny how it can all look so good in family photos when it is not like that.
Come back any time K. It is always good to get your comments
Graffiti
Yes, I fantasize as much as possible. Yes, there are times, when I prefer most of the time during that spacific time period, to be alone. Yes, I will draw away from people just to fantasize a particular fantasy while it's fresh and interesting or exciting. A bit like movies i like or a book or books that I happen to be into. I'll say no to company just to get into a movie/book/fantasy that I'm 'into' at the time.
ReplyDeleteBut there are many times also where I crave company/conversation/people about. There's not a lot of that here (in my life personally) so I seek it out and put that stuff into my life when I know I'm feeling the need or hunger. The 'party girl' is the personality that most people who knew me, in any way, thought was the 'me'. But I'm not really.
I'm shy, nervous mostly and if I'm ever loud and fun... that's when i'm either the most comfortable or the most afraid.
Life can be sooooo weird can't it?
I'm loving these posts Tony... thankyou for them.
I have been thinking about my fantasy aka daydream times. I will drift mostly into daydream I think when I am bored. That is particularly when driving, or sat in a meeting at work that has lost my attention or when the tv is on. Rarely do I give something my full 100% attention, particularly TV - I blog mostly in front of the TV.
ReplyDeleteThe only time when I deliberately force daydream is if I cannot sleep. Then I will daydream either how I spend a million pounds or piloting a space ship through the universe. That one used to work a lot when I was a kid where I would wear my pillow also as a space helmet.
If I am out shopping and am bored, sometimes I will play the game that someone is following me and I have to ascertain who it is. Or I play this if I am on a train and I have to try and guess who my 'tail' is.
Its all in the spirit of entertainment.
K.
The other way I use fantasy is to explore how I would feel about something. Sometimes I imagine a particular event happening, like a bereavement (which is quite a common one of late) and then I play out in my mind how I would behave and how I would act. I think through what I would say and how I would feel. So sometimes fantasy can be a training ground?
ReplyDeleteKahless - I practice golf in my imagination all th time. A boring meeting is the perfect time to play at least 9 holes.
ReplyDeleteHello KYLady. I hope you enjoy a perfect round in your fantasy. Do you play with anyone there? Maybe you trounce Lee Westwood ?
ReplyDeleteKahless – the perfect round? I wish. I’ve found it’s bad luck to imagine playing too much better than I do in reality. Golf is a game of superstitions (seems like that’s typical of golfers I play with). When I imagine golf, the sun is always shining, the birds are singing, and it’s just me and the course. Pure heaven.
ReplyDelete