Uniqueness ++
One & Only +++
Feelings +
Power +
Reverse Status +
Sex
Beauty
Pied Piper
Booze +
Food +
Violence
Money
Words ++
Drugs
Analysis
You are quite unique Annalynn as this is quite an unusual set of results that you provide. The main thing I can say about it is that it could be reflective of disordered attachment. I know you a little bit but not a lot so I will have to speak more generally.
Research shows that children who grow up in a monomatric family will tend to have singular attachments in adulthood. This could be seen to represent the script currency of one and only and uniqueness. Especially the quality of the exclusion of others. Children who grow up in more polymatric families will have a more diverse set of attachments in adulthood.
In terms of psychological games this could result in what are called exclusion games. These are played the best of all by teenage girls. Those who establish peer groups and then keep some others out of them. This is not saying that you do such things just that you would be hypersensitive to such behaviour.
Because of the singular attachment there could develop problems with loyalty, betrayal and so forth, including exclusion games as mentioned before.
Of course there is nothing wrong or unhealthy about having singular attachments. From a psychological point of view if the needs for human contact are met in one or two attachments then there is no problem. Others usually have more attachments to meet those needs but as long as the needs are being meet then there is not a psychological problem.
The main danger is you put all your eggs in one basket. If the primary attachment figure dies or moves away then you may be left bereft of other attachments.
Graffiti
Thanks for doing this. :) I appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteMy dad was abusive. And my mom frequently seemed to be doing her own thing. I don't remember anything before I was 7, Which was the first time I really felt the need to kill myself. I thought all families behaved the same, so there was obviously something wrong with me.
As long as I can remember I have never been hugged or validated as such. If anything upset me I was told to get over it and go to my room. I spent a lot of time alone in my room.
All through grade school I had 1 or 2 friends but otherwise preferred the company of my own imagination. The worlds I created were far better than this one. And they still are.
I am hypersensitive and wish I wasn't. Combined with being chronically suicidal, hypersensitivity isn't too helpful. If something happens throughout the day to me or any other person that happens to upset me, I immediately am more suicidal. I don't choose it, it just happens. And I know that's what makes me "dangerous" to my therapist and psychiatrist. There are other reasons of course that suicide is so appealing.
I never really know what I am feeling. I don't understand what it feels like to be sad, happy, glad, mad, whatever. So how I am "feeling" ends up being a rating of how suicidal I am. From it being on the back of my mind to being more present. No one would notice this about me. To everyone else, I am a fun, loving, happy person.
People scare me. When you develop a relationship with one, they will always die or leave. That makes it not worth it. I know my thoughts are flawed. But to me, I would have rather not even met the person.
Similarly, developing relationships is not something I am interested in. It sounds good in theory. But I don't want to hurt anymore people than I already would if I happened to hurt myself.
So, all that to say what you said does sound like me. Thanks again.
Thanks for the comment Annalynn,
ReplyDeleteThat is quite a spot you are in. I hope it turns out OK for you. If you can manage it I would certainly encourage you to establish some kind of relationship with somebody. Do U skype?
Tony
I do skype from time to time. Skype name is nature_is_best . Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking when I created that name.
ReplyDelete